OMG! I'm the worst blogger ever right now!
It's like time is just running through my fingers and all of a sudden three weeks have gone by.
Sorry for that! But like I told you in my last post I can't talk a lot about what happens on set and since that is about all that is going on in my head right now it's very hard to find things to blog about. Or even get the thought "I need to blog now".
But I realised today I actually DO have things I want to show you about what's going on in my life. So let's do that!
We spent the weekend before shooting started at the production office. We haven't been there since, and I had a feeling it would be long until next time, so I went bananas with the self timer up on the roof. I really like those moments alone exploring, jumping around and running back and forth to set the timer/look at the photo I just took to see if it turned out any good.
David on the first day of filming! Look how cute!
I have been at the set every other day. I come and go as I want to and it feels good to have a couple of days for myself every now and then. When I'm not at the filmset I'm walking around in Burbank where we live and sit at cafés writing. Here's a pine tree lined street close to us that is mysterious and dark usually, but when someone has watered the street at the same time as their gardens, it turns into an even more beautiful scene.
I would get super bored if I would only do one or the other (alone days or hanging out at the set) but now as I can choose to mix it up I really enjoy the days I have on my own.
The movieset is super exciting with lots of people running around doing their thing and I find it so amazing to see David working so surely with experienced actors and film crew. It's such a huge leap to go from making movies just two people in an apartment to making a studiofilm in Hollywood. I'm beyond impressed with how awesome David is in this situation.
A couple of hands I found on a wall that are both cute and extremely spooky at the same time. Baby ghost hands!
When we had only been in LA for a couple of weeks our wonderful neighbours knocked on our door and gave me this shirt. They had found it in a store and had to buy it for me because it happened to have Lights Out written on it.
It has nothing to do with our film but I obviously feel like it's meant to be so I wore it on set and felt like a fangirl all day.
On the first weekend after filming started we switched the production office for the filmset. I found spooky places in the large building and obviously got good use of my gorillapod and self timer. I'm really fond of the light and shadows in this photo. I love using what is around me and this is a perfect example of how to get the surroundings to work in your favour.
And I definitely can't resist a good hallway.
On the last day at the first filming location they filmed some outdoor scenes and it was a lot of work before they could take a break for food. Since I do what I feel like when I'm there I fetched a cup of coffee and went up on the roof for some alone time. It was during golden hour so the light was just beautiful. I took some photos and then I realised I could see what the film crew was up to from my spot above.
Looking down at people who don't know they are being watched...
Then David walked past and I sent him a text that he should look up. When he saw me he came up on the roof too. He had a few minutes to breath (and make out) away from the hustle and bustle of the movieset. It was a perfect moment. One of those you'll remember forever.
The view was kinda amazing.
I have been taking a bunch of outfit photos as well. This one was to show off my new second hand blouse that stops at the waist, covers my shoulders and is made in a cool and breezy fabric.
Talking about clothes, I had my costume fitting for Lights Out last week. Such a cool feeling! And it made everything feel a little bit more real too. I got my visa so that I can work in the film and I have a part and it's just so amazing everything!
I can't wait until it's my turn to get infront of the camera. And I am actually the only one in this production that have been directed by David before this! HA! And I'm not intimidated by Mr Hollywood Director so I'm going to pretend it's just like when we make our horror shorts at home. Nothing more, nothing less (Let's see how that goes).
a self portrait on one of my walks to the closest Starbucks for some coffee and writing.
Last friday at the new filming location. I took a coffee break under some trees in the beautiful garden.
This monday, out walking, finding surroundings that match my outfit.
And yesterday at the filmset. They were shooting one of the most difficult scenes in the movie light wise. There was so much people running around and there was a lot of last minute details that had to be decided.
I love this photo of David all lit up when he's thinking real hard on how to solve a problem, and all those people around him, in the dark.
David (second to the left) and the producers talk through a difficult scene in the dramatic smokey film light.
Just a prop master with a plastic man over his shoulder.
So I hope you liked to see and read a little about what's been going on these past three weeks. My plan is that you won't have to wait as long until my next blog post, but who knows really!
It's probably the strangest time in my life right now and I have sort of decided to not force anything. This entire experience is so far from every day life that we just have to take every day as it comes. It's both scary and exciting, obviously. But I feel strangely calm about everything. But that's the true nature of an adventure, isn't it?
Talk to you soon, okay?!
I will never grow up if that means stopping to play pretend.
Today I pretended I was in a bunch of movies. On my adventures I found an old car, a rooftop with weird things on it, and a cool metal structure tower. All things that fit perfectly into my fantasies...
Pretending I'm in a Mad Max movie.
(By the way: such a GREAT movie!)
Pretending I'm in a 90s movie.
One of my favourite movies ever is Reality Bites
and I would LOVE to be a part of that gang (or a movie just like it, if it isn't possible to have myself transported into that exact imaginary world).
Pretending I'm in a Hollywood action movie, running away from an explosion and/or some really bad guys. Or maybe I'm the bad guy? That would be cool.
And lastly: Pretending I'm in a Karate Kid movie.
I created the hashtag #lottapretendingshesinmovies, because I have a feeling I might have to take more pictures like this. It's just so fun!
Okay, that was all for today! Talk to you soon!
Let's talk a little about holding yourself back and how to not do that. Okay?
I want to be a person who does what I love the most without limitations sprung from worry over what other people might think. I think many can relate to that. It's one of those universal feelings we humans drag around without knowing how to get rid of.
The people I look up to the most are the ones who do what they do as largely as they possibly can. Seemingly free from ideas and restraints of how you "should be". Just doing their thing.
I often feel captured between a will to be free and wild in my (creative) expression and a fear that people will not like me. And that is the best way to not create anything interesting ever.
The other day I was struck by a realisation though.
The person you look up to the most (and maybe want to be like) are not loved by everyone. Because it's not possible to be unique and interesting without having people not liking you.
It was like turning on a lightswitch in my head. So simple, really, but earth shattering for me.
It's not possible to stand out and not have people who can't stand you (see what I did there?).
And I really really want to stand out.
Let's take an example:
At the moment I have a lot of time for myself. I'm alone during the days and therefore I take a lot of self portraits.
A fear that pops into my brain quite a lot though is the worry that people are going to see me as self absorbed, that they are going to misunderstand the purpose behind my pictures.
At the same time there's almost nothing that I enjoy more right now. I see myself grow through every self portrait I take, and what comes from having only myself as an instrument, has turned into this amazing way to express myself and be creative every day. Turn places and emotions into a stage bigger than what it was moments before.
And you know what? If someone sees me as narcissistic then okay, let them think that.
Hopefully there's at least some people who find what I do interesting and inspiring.
And if not- okay, I might need to go and turn that emotion into a self portrait though...
Both these self portraits are taken at David's office building here in LA during the weekends when there's nobody there except for us (and the labrador Matt who came to visit one time) And in both of them my face is lit by my iPad.
Until next time:
We have been here for almost three months now and I haven't felt the time pass.
It wasn't until I saw a friend post a picture of a blooming lilac bush on Facebook that I realised it's summer in Sweden now. It's not march or april, it's not even spring; it's summer.
In this town there's no seasons, not really. It's sunny, warm and dry almost every day. My body can feel some changes, the past week was not good for my head, it was sticky in the air and the grey skies lay heavy on my head and shoulders and hurt my eyes with a weird bright light that pierces through even the darkest of sunglasses.
But it's still just a variation of warm and sunny. And it's still summer.
So in my mind, in my body, time hasn't moved since we came here in march when the trees in Sweden had just started to get tiny leaves, and buds ready to burst the moment we left the country.
There's other things creating this strange time and space confusion in me.
I left a lot of things in Sweden and I haven't really replaced them with anything here. I'm not talking about stuff, those kinds of things are easily replaced or forgotten, but things that kept my mind busy and growing. You know- my job, my shop and all the work I did creatively, my friends.
I've been thinking a lot about this while we've been here. David is working long days and I have so many hours to fill. I was prepared, sort of; I knew I would have to keep myself busy until my part of this trip would start for real (because it will). But it's so very hard to create new things from nothing.
This is one thing I feel a purpose in- Writing. Another is Self Portraits. A third is working on evolving my creative work (jewelry, photos; art). But there isn't really any goals to work for, just the ones I'm making up for myself, and those can so easily be changed in a second if I don't feel them anymore. It's a sort of work/vacation vacuum, where nothing is familiar and all your fallbacks are in another country.
I see this part of my life as an experiment in Having nothing to do and What happens when your brain isn't challenged.
It's interesting. And quite frustrating.
And I think I will learn things about myself that I wouldn't otherwise.
So I try my hardest to fill my days and my brain with things in this weird time/space confusion I happen to exist in at the moment.
And I will share what discoveries this experiment leads to, if and when, I find them.
Also: this whole "I'm not going to blog iPhone photos anymore" thing is obviously not working out for me. My camera is way too heavy to carry around on my everyday adventures and my iPhone has proven to be a great companion in all of this, so without repeating everything I do on instagram, there will definitely be iPhone photos on this blog.
I actually have an idea; let's see if it will make me blog more. This post is a first try.
Until next time: