We have been here for almost three months now and I haven't felt the time pass.
It wasn't until I saw a friend post a picture of a blooming lilac bush on Facebook that I realised it's summer in Sweden now. It's not march or april, it's not even spring; it's summer.
In this town there's no seasons, not really. It's sunny, warm and dry almost every day. My body can feel some changes, the past week was not good for my head, it was sticky in the air and the grey skies lay heavy on my head and shoulders and hurt my eyes with a weird bright light that pierces through even the darkest of sunglasses.
But it's still just a variation of warm and sunny. And it's still summer.
So in my mind, in my body, time hasn't moved since we came here in march when the trees in Sweden had just started to get tiny leaves, and buds ready to burst the moment we left the country.
There's other things creating this strange time and space confusion in me.
I left a lot of things in Sweden and I haven't really replaced them with anything here. I'm not talking about stuff, those kinds of things are easily replaced or forgotten, but things that kept my mind busy and growing. You know- my job, my shop and all the work I did creatively, my friends.
I've been thinking a lot about this while we've been here. David is working long days and I have so many hours to fill. I was prepared, sort of; I knew I would have to keep myself busy until my part of this trip would start for real (because it will). But it's so very hard to create new things from nothing.
This is one thing I feel a purpose in- Writing. Another is Self Portraits. A third is working on evolving my creative work (jewelry, photos; art). But there isn't really any goals to work for, just the ones I'm making up for myself, and those can so easily be changed in a second if I don't feel them anymore. It's a sort of work/vacation vacuum, where nothing is familiar and all your fallbacks are in another country.
I see this part of my life as an experiment in Having nothing to do and What happens when your brain isn't challenged.
It's interesting. And quite frustrating.
And I think I will learn things about myself that I wouldn't otherwise.
So I try my hardest to fill my days and my brain with things in this weird time/space confusion I happen to exist in at the moment.
And I will share what discoveries this experiment leads to, if and when, I find them.


Also: this whole "I'm not going to blog iPhone photos anymore" thing is obviously not working out for me. My camera is way too heavy to carry around on my everyday adventures and my iPhone has proven to be a great companion in all of this, so without repeating everything I do on instagram, there will definitely be iPhone photos on this blog.
I actually have an idea; let's see if it will make me blog more. This post is a first try.

Until next time:
Tjingeling!
/Lotta
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